Sunday, April 22, 2012

Hate me

I cannot get this song out of my mind since Jesse passed. I was familiar with the song in the past, but Jesse discovered it a few weeks ago through the message board.

He cried when he listened to it and he said it described his early struggles in his life and also his relationship with his mother rather well.

He listened to it a lot.
It brought up a lot of memories for him and I think he also made peace with a lot of those memories.

Jesse loved his mother. He loved his father too...
...but his mom was his rock.

I told her about this song because I thought she should know what Jesse had told me just a few days ago and how he felt. I also told her that I could play it for her when she was ready to listen to it. I bet it wasn't easy for her. I am sorry if this post brings up more sadness for you mama. It's not my intention.

I just cannot get the words out of my head because it also reminds me of Jess's personal struggles. Some of the things he processed with me, things we processed together as a couple, memories that needed unburdening...bringing us closer than ever.

I love you babe.

I hope you are resting, flying, and watching.

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