Take Maya to her four month check up without Jesse. Check.
Maya had her four month birthday yesterday and today she saw her doctor for her routine check up and another set of vaccines. Last time we were there, she was two months old and she was getting her very first set of vaccines. I remember being scared and anxious for my baby. Jesse held her while she got poked because, one, he was brave and I couldn't do it and two, he wanted Maya to associate after needle ouchie comforts with mommy. So I took her and loved her and held her after the deed was done.
Today, I did both. I held her for the needle jabs and continued to hold her and comfort her after the pain set in. My heart hurt when I saw it coming and when I knew the pain would hit her. Oh my poor poor baby...
Pippi was with me for support, but I wanted to do it all on my own. And I am proud of myself for not crying.
She is going to start eating rice cereal soon. She is growing up. Fast.
Along with happiness, every milestone for Isis and Maya is going to be a melancholic reminder of what Jesse is missing.
I miss you so much babe. Goodnight.