We had Mike and Colin over for dinner tonight. Jesse and I loved hanging out with these two. So we did our Chinese food, from our usual restaurant. Tonight, I felt like Jesse was just away...and out of town. It has happened to me quite a few times already where my mind and heart start to make up these scenarios around Jesse's absence and I begin to believe them. I don't know if it is "normal" but I tell myself that he'll be back next week and then we could do dinner again with Mike and Colin...or...I can't wait to tell him these stories when he calls me later. I guess it is just a way of preserving whatever sanity I have left.
Then there are also those moments during social conversations when I pause...waiting for Jesse to say something...or laugh...or make a snarky comment.
Socializing will never ever be the same for me again.